so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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