not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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