Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
