The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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