Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
