Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
