So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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