Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize