It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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