What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
