Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
