It was confusing and full of hummus
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
