dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
