We named our party play list daddy issues
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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