Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
