I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
