Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
