eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
