one two three fourrrrnication!
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
