Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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