Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
