I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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