Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
