I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
