I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
