Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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