Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
