like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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