I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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