I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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