Will you blow on my dice?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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