Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
