I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
