She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
