That's intense
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize