so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
