she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
