let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
