Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
