My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize