Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm at about main and main street
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
