We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Randomize
