Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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