he shaved USA in his pubs
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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