Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
