She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
