i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
