I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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