There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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