Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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