capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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