I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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