I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
