Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
