I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
