yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
