If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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