she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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