I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
