Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize