I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
