i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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