Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
