Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
