Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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