return my video game
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
