i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize