the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
