i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize